Category Archives: personal growth – mental health

What’s the Cost of Retaining Toxic Employees and Workplace Bullies?

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This topic is receiving increased attention today for a few reasons. First, 24 states in the US have reviewed or are reviewing legislation to make serious, targeted bullying a statutory crime. Second, increasing research demonstrates the cost of distractions these difficult employees cause within their teams. Third, studies are also showing that positive culture and employee engagement are correlated with increased financial success – these employees disrupt an employer’s efforts to fully engage their workforce. Finally, studies show that employees treat customers the way they are treated.

Let’s look at the cost

  • Distracted employees: employees who are concerned about the negative social tactics bullies use on them do not concentrate on work. They talk to other victims; they strategies how to stay out of the cross-hairs; they look for work elsewhere. They do this every day when the bully is at work.  There are various studies on this but assume that employees working in the same unit as the bully spend 20% of their day on these matters. Multiply their salaries and benefits by 20% and then by the number of work days in a year. 
  • Sabotage of work process: a fairly common tactic applied by toxic employees is withholding information from those who have fallen from favor. Perhaps a coworker has complained about them to the boss. Toxic employees who are responsible for distributing key information to others have the power to withhold that information as punishment. This slowed-down production costs you.
  • Lost sales and revenue opportunities: distracted employees don’t make sales and employees who are treated badly often apply that treatment to your customers. Let’s say this has only a small effect – five percent applied to annual sales.
  • Increased absenteeism: employees subjected to social isolation and other workplace abuse are more likely to be absent from work than peers in an otherwise healthy workplace. Take another ten percent of annual payroll for workers in the effected department. 
  • Long term health costs: workers subjected to bullying tactics are sick more often. They suffer physical symptoms of stomach and digestive distress, high blood-pressure, and body aches. Then there are emotional symptoms like lack of energy associated with depression. Eventually, medical claims will increase which, depending on the size of your company, may effect your claims experience rating. Increased premiums for you and your employees!
  • Reputation costs: Companies develop reputations both in their local communities and now in a wider, Internet-based community. A company’s negative reputation builds gradually. Over time, toxic employees target all the employees you want to retain. They go after employees they can’t manipulate like: high performers, workers with high ethics, and workers who don’t want to see friends victimized. People who are comfortable with a negative environment stay and those who are looking for a pro-social environment leave. The longer this goes on, the worse the overall atmosphere will get. It’s difficult to put a specific price on this dynamic but it sounds bad, doesn’t it?
  • Negative retention costs: Employers who ignore bullies and toxic employees are much more likely to be sued. Sooner or later the bully targets the wrong employee. Perhaps it’s an older person in a workplace filled with young people? What if their targets tend to be women? What if it’s the one gay employee whose “out” in your workplace. Emotionally injured and disgruntled employees sue. Even if they don’t prevail, lawsuits are a significant distraction to all involved. While not all employees whose rights are violated hire an attorney, the idea is to prevent this abusive and unnecessary behavior and engage the diversity of employees in a positive, healthy environment.

It’s worth the effort

There is so much to be gained by having a workplace of respect and collaboration. While it’s not easy to address a well-entrenched negative employee, it can be done. Employers need to articulate a positive standard of behavior; intervene when employees clearly violate this standard; and support the employees around the offender and help them set better boundaries. Finally, intervene swiftly and decisively when a bully retaliates against someone they think has spoken up against them. It will be difficult for you but it will clearly pay off in the end.

(c) Copyright BCSPublishing 2013 all rights reserved. 

Part 3: HR Intervening with a Potentially Violent Employee

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Previous articles in this series: Part 1:HR Principles Guiding Workplace Violence Prevention; Part 2: HR Steps to Preventing Workplace Violence

Making the plan

After reviewing an employee’s history, behavior and disclosures, a comprehensive plan for intervening must be developed. It is useful to consider past interventions with this employee as information on how this one will progress.  Review company policies that might apply to this situation and always maintain a respectful and firm posture toward the employee.  The employee who takes the central role in delivering the “bad news” should be a seasoned person with experience in these kind of difficult employee discussions.  It should be someone who is not afraid to set clear boundaries during the discussion and will know when to put a stop to discussions altogether.  A skilled individual can keep a discussion de-escalated and more successful overall.

The reader is cautioned to remember that every intervention must be custom-designed. Only those closest to the discussions know the best course of action.  These general steps may help in your planning:

  • Objectively assess the employee,s background, work history and safety risks
  • Consult an expert or attorney on legal process to ensure the company obligations and employee rights are protected;
  • Create plan for handling the performance conference – location, timing, personnel involved;
  • Ask the authorities and/or security to review the plan and provide feedback;
  • Create a detail schedule of events;
  • Prepare the financials for the employee’s last pay if termination is warranted;
  • Plan out each person’s role in the intervention including the talking points of what is to be conveyed;
  • Consider letting coworkers know that you will be meeting with the potentially dangerous employee or notify them directly after, if warranted;
  • Carefully consider where the employee will go directly after the intervention – escort to locker and off the premises, etc;
  • Provide instructions if the employee is not allowed to contact various employees and inform the employee of who he/she should contact if questions arise post termination;
  • Implement the plan;
  • Follow up with authorities if the employee makes either vague or specific threats to company personnel;
  • Follow up with peers and other workers who might be affected by this employee’s actions or the company intervention;
  • Provide co-workers and supervisors with instructions on what to do if threatened or contacted;
  • Review company security procedures and refresh employee understanding if appropriate.

As always, review and evaluate the intervention outcome, considering what worked well, what did not go well and potential changes to company policies.

Good luck!

(c) copyright BCSPublishing 2012 all rights reserved

Part 2: HR Planning to Prevent Workplace Violence

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Previous articles in this series: Part 1:HR Principles Guiding Workplace Violence Prevention

Roles in preventing workplace violence

There are four entities to be considered when developing policies and procedures on the management of potentially violent employees: The individual, the work unit, the company and the community. The company’s role varies regarding these groups. The company has a duty to protect all employees from workplace violence. The company must listen to unit supervisors and co-workers who  disclose information or fears about an employee. The company has a responsibility to have reasonable policies that guide company operations regarding employee violence (see part one of this article). Finally, if a disgruntled employee makes threats to employees, there could be a moral obligation to inform authorities because employees can be at risk both at work and in the community. The nature and clarity of these threats can provide guidance here.

The individual employee

It’s helpful to focus on the individual employee’s history and behavior to determine the risk for violence. Over the years, I have found that looking at employee behavior overall, not just one or two incidents, is key to accurately assessing the potential for violence. But first, what are the basic emotional skills that every employee must have for reasonable chance of success?

Mental and emotional basics for every employee

Does the employee have sufficient emotional health and maturity for the workplace? Recruitment interviews and reference checks should reveals whether there are red flags in any of these areas.

  • Reasonable self-awareness and self-assessment of his/her capabilities;
  • Reasonable perspective on his/her own performance strengths and weaknesses;
  • Reasonable accurate perception of how he/she is seen by management, peers;
  • Reasonable perspective on personal responsibility (blaming others or accountable for the consequences of their poor performance?);
  • Reasonable acceptance of performance criticism; and
  • Ability to see things from someone else’s perspective.

A particular employee’s potential for violence

When HR sees red flags going into a performance counseling with a particular employee, there are some simple questions to consider.  The focus needs to be on observable behavior, behavior changes and employee disclosures. Here are a series of questions that get at the employee’s observable behavior in the workplace as well as their potential state of mind:

  • Is the employee’s employment status about to change involuntarily and what is their potential awareness and acceptance of this change?
  • Has the employee made any overt or veiled threats against the company or employees?
  • Has employee asked for accommodations or disclosed mental illness or emotional difficulties?
  • Has the employee made complaints about others that proved to be false or unfounded?
  • Has employee disclosed significant life stressors: recent or pending divorce, financial difficulties or personal loss?
  • Do the employee’s performance history, counselings and results reveal troubling patterns?
  • Does the employee have a criminal background?
  • Has the employee talked about revenge, fights outside of work or violence, generally?
  • Have there been any observable, recent behavior changes? Odd behaviors or performance changes?

The key here is to trust your instincts.  Seasoned HR professionals generally know to trust their instincts or “gut feelings.”  When you have that uneasy feeling, consult an informed and neutral third-party – perhaps an HR colleague to see if he/she shares the concerns.

Part 3 in this series will cover the planning for an intervention, next.

(c) copyright BCSPublishing 2012 all rights reserved

Part 1: HR Principles Guiding Workplace Violence Prevention

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Workplace shootings covered in the news remind human resource professionals that monitoring potential violence and unsafe behavior in the workplace is crucial. Planning for any performance intervention or termination conference must include an evaluation of the risk for dangerous behavior. This article includes a comprehensive series of questions to support such an evaluation.

Introduction

Section 5(a)(1) of the Occupational Safety and Health Act, states that employers have a duty to protect employees from recognized hazards that are likely to cause death or serious harm to employees. Emotionally unsafe employees often react strongly to negative information or changes in the workplace. Physical harm to human resource staff, supervisors or company employees are an immediate consequence but there are long-term human effects such as: emotional toll – grieving employees, trauma for those who witness violence. Finally, the business will suffer as folks struggle to regain some form of normalcy.

24-hour factor

When employees are counseled about poor performance or turned down for a position, they may not act out at first. There may be an apparent honey-moon period in which the unsafe employee is unable to respond at first, followed by a strong reaction that builds as the reality of the situation becomes clear days later. I call this the “24 hour” factor.

Attorneys and security can help

Workplace violence prevention strategies can help to manage the risks associated with unsafe, unstable employees. The greatest point of risk is during or after an intervention aimed some negative situation: poor performance, being passed over, or probation and termination. Human Resource professionals often have feelings of apprehension during this preparation. They consult their attorney on the HR legalities and make plans that involve security personnel or the police. Attorney’s can comment on the legality of an employer’s action and the likelihood that an employee action might be successful in court. The police can contain certain situations once erupted, but neither may be able to assess the psychological potential for violence in advance. Sometimes visible security dampens the risk of violence.  In some cases, a visible police or security presence may actually incite a greater reaction. A good assessment of psychologically-based risk and sound intervention planning can make a significant difference in the outcome. Using information that management and HR already possess regarding the individual’s behavior in some or all of the following areas can yield a psychological profile that can inform successful planning.

 HIPAA vs Assessing the risk

When consulted on potentially violent employees, questions arise about private/medical matters that employers are charged with protecting – has the employee been diagnosed mental illness or medical condition that might alter mood? Does the employee take a medication that alters mood? Often this information is familiar to coworkers.  If the employer is unaware of these employee mental health issues, you move to observable behavior and other employee disclosures. Has the employee had violent outbursts, over-reacted to minor issues, broken tools, etc? Does the employee talk about violence in their home?

Workplace safety goals:

The following are the ultimate goals of violence prevention policies

  • Keeping company employees safe from aggression, threats of violence and assault;
  • Keeping company property safe from damage or theft and company operations safe from sabotage; and
  • Keeping an employee safe from self-harm at work or immediately after HR action
  • Keeping the community safe when you suspect imminent harm to people outside the company.

Guiding principles for violence prevention policies

It is important to know what ethical principles should guide decision-making in this kind of situation. Here are some examples:

  • Prevention of violent or unsafe incidents at work is a priority;
  • Company responses must be legal, ethical, professional and respectful;
  • Employees must be treated equally with respect to mental illness so attention must be focused on employee performance measures and observable behavior;
  • Responses must be consistent with company policies;
  • Company employees must be free from abuse, intimidation and physical harm at work;
  • Continuous, smooth and orderly business operations must be maintained;
  • Employee relations for the unit, peers and supervisor is important;
  • Planning and approach should consider professional risk assessment when there is a history of violence, threat of violence, discussion of firearms or presence of a chronic mental illness.

Companies can always add safety measures to written policies as long as they are focused on legitimate safety issues at hand and do not disproportionately affect a protected class. Some policies that might contain references to potentially violent conduct in the workplace:

  • Employee Termination
  • Medical Benefits
  • Conditions for Continued Employment
  • Progressive Discipline
  • Workplace Violence
  • Workplace Harassment
  • Performance Management and Feedback
  • Employee Requests for Disability Accommodations

Part 2: Checklist for planning interventions – coming next.

(c) Copyright BCSPublishing 2012 All rights reserved

How to Make 360 Performance Feedback Less Snarky, More Helpful

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Performance Evaluation Input

For supervisory staff especially, it is helpful to get constructive feedback from other supervisors (peers), the person’s supervisees, and maybe even external contacts with which this supervisor has regular contact. Many companies try this only to abandon the activity when the feedback is less than helpful. I’ve tried various techniques to maximize the positives of peer and supervisee feedback and minimize the mean and unproductive things folks say when providing feedback. Here’s a brief discussion.

Why use feedback to inform performance evaluations?

Looking at a front line supervisor position, feedback might be helpful in the following scenarios:

  1. If a company has strong peer-to-peer relationship values, this feedback is essential to know how employees are using this value.
  2. Supervisors with an authoritative style may be stifling supervisee ideas – how else would you know?
  3. Some supervisors cater to supervisees and are isolated from or less kind to their peers.
  4. Perhaps most of the supervisor’s contacts are outside the company and external relations are highly valued.
  5. Feedback from more than one dimension can provide the best, well-rounded context for the supervisor’s performance development.

Pitfalls

You create these questionnaires, you explain why you’re gathering feedback and you let participants know that recurring themes will be discussed with the employee for their evaluation. Sounds straightforward. Two ways for this to go wrong – one is participants are afraid to provide feedback if they question or distrust your assurances.  This is a difficult problem to overcome.  It takes a trusting, professional atmosphere.  You can begin with a pilot program and expand as employees see that the original documents are not seen by the employee.  Creating a healthy workplace culture is the topic of several individual posts on this blog.

The other is that participants go overboard detailing everything the employee ever did wrong. Employees may not be experienced in providing feedback. Sometimes they mistake this as an invitation to vent. Understanding professional boundaries is something employees often need support to achieve. Starting with the assumption that most employees have some useful feedback, the key is to ask only questions for which answers are helpful.

Try this

The key is to tie the question to the employee’s effect on those around them and avoid open-ended questions. You want to focus on what the employee does and not workers’ personal opinions about them.

  • “Please note areas in which you feel this individual performs well or where his or her actions contribute to your success or the success of the organization.”
  • “Please note areas in which you think this individual could make some changes in order to better contribute to your success or the organization’s success:

(c) BCSPublishing 2012 all rights reserved

 

Guest Post: The Importance of Self-Assessments

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What follows is a guest post by a fan of this blog.  Erin Palmer writes about topics like PHR Certification as well as online hr degree programs.  Erin can be reached on Twitter @Erin_E_Palmer.  I hope you enjoy this HR topic.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _

There is always room for job improvement. No matter where you are in your career progression, self-assessments can be an excellent tool to measure your job performance, track your professional growth and make sure you meet your career goals. Self-assessments are often included as part of employee performance reviews, but you should still consider doing one even if your employer does not require it or if you are self-employed. You can’t better yourself and get what you want from work until you know yourself.

Why Use Self-Assessments?

Self-assessments are an important tool for employees and managers. Employees can use their self-assessment to define and track their career goals, discover areas in which they would benefit from additional training or education and identify talents and strengths. Self-assessments can also help employees reflect on their accomplishments during the review period and describe the contributions they have made to the company. This can often provide the support needed to pursue raises, promotions and additional responsibilities.

Managers can use self-assessments in similar ways. Managers benefit from soliciting feedback from their employees. However, employees are often reluctant to be forthright with their manager if there are problems. Self-assessments can help the employees objectively express their point of view. Moreover, managers can also conduct their own self-assessment. Once managers understand what their strengths and weaknesses are, they can develop appropriate action plans and goals which will ultimately help them become better leaders.

Self-Assessments Can Help You Monitor Your Career Progress

Completing a self-assessment each year helps you chart your progress so that you can stay on your desired career trajectory. You should strive to be as objective as possible and rate yourself based on facts and tangible results, not intentions. By setting annual goals and evaluating your own performance against them, you’ll be able to see whether or not you’re on track to achieve your overall career goals. More importantly, if you’re not on track, you’ll be able to see why.

Self-assessments can be used as an opportunity to initiate discussions with your manager on your performance as it relates to your career goals. If your self-assessment ratings are higher than your manager’s ratings on your performance evaluation, you should determine the reason why. Many employees today work with a high level of self-direction and your manager might be unaware of some of your contributions and achievements. Or, your performance may be falling short of your manager’s expectations. An open discussion will help you and your manager have a more complete picture of your performance.

Self-Assessments Can Help You Find and Fix Weaknesses

Self-assessments give you an opportunity to honestly evaluate your performance, which can help you identify areas in which you need to improve. Before developing plans to ameliorate your weaknesses, you should consider them in the context of your overall career goals and focus on improving weaknesses that are most relevant to helping your achieve your goals.

Knowing your weaknesses has the additional benefit of helping you develop more satisfying and suitable career goals. Weaknesses can sometimes indicate areas that hold little interest or appeal to you. In general, people tend to avoid doing what they don’t like to do, which can lead to underperformance in related tasks. Once you know where your skills and talents as well as your weaknesses lie, you can match that information up with career goals that place greater emphasis and reward on your talents and less on your weaknesses.

Self-Assessments Can Help Build Communication with Peers

Many people rely on input from co-workers on their self-assessment to help them gain a more complete picture of their overall performance. Gathering feedback from teammates, or even customers, can give you helpful information on how your performance is perceived by those around you. This can be particularly valuable if your performance evaluation assesses your ability to work effectively as a member of a team or factors in customer satisfaction. Soliciting input from others has other benefits as well. It can provide information that your supervisor can use on your performance evaluation and it can lead to an increase in communication within a team which can improve teamwork.

Self-Assessments Can Be a Valuable Tool in Achieving Your Career Goals

Self-assessments present many benefits, including the opportunity to establish a dialogue between you and your supervisor about your performance. Self-assessments can help you identify your accomplishments, set goals for the upcoming evaluation period, and identify next steps in your personal and professional development. Completing a self-assessment is an excellent way to gather information about yourself so that you can make informed career decisions and reach your professional goals.

Erin Palmer writes about topics like PHR Certification as well as online hr degree programs.  Erin can be reached on Twitter @Erin_E_Palmer.

Quick Tips For Surviving Toxic Worker Run-ins

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Toxic employees understand how to take advantage of others.  They can verbally escalate any discussion to that point which will make you walk away mad.  You know it’s coming but for some reason you fall for it every time.

Common mistakes

  • Thinking you can out-toxic them.  Forget it
  • Thinking it’s about you.  This is what they do to people around them. You happen to be the victim of the moment
  • Thinking because it’s unfair it needs to stop.  No question that it is unfair.  No one thinks abuse and intimidation is fair.  But they’re not driven by a code of fairness.  It’s more like a code of it’s-all-about-me. The problem is they are good at staying below the radar.  It’s complicated to terminate them.

Mental re-frame

Unless you’re the supervisor, you don’t have the power to stop it all together. You can, however, control your behavior and how you see it. Here is a mental reframe to help you stay grounded, healthy and productive at work.

 Five quick tips – think of it this way

  1. It’s not me – you know they do this to others.  If you’re insecure get some help to feel better about yourself but don’t let this toxic person make you feel like any of this is your fault.
  2. It’s not everything – the more your job is everything in your life, the more this person will get under your skin.  Develop a full and rewarding life where work is only a part – hobbies, activities, interests will make this seem less important.
  3. Don’t power struggle – there’s an Al-anon expression that you “don’t go to every fight you’re invited to!” Resist the temptation to set yourself up to lose a power struggle.  Don’t start.
  4. Use a friendly voice – tone of voice is something toxic people read immediately.  If you start there, you’re done.  Start and end with a friendly voice. It costs you nothing.
  5. Talk about what is happening – “So, I came and asked you for a training file and though I’m the trainer you’re saying I can’t have it because it’s Tuesday.  Hmmm, okay.  I’ll let the VP know your reasoning.  Have a nice day (friendly voice).”  Walk away while they try to have the last word.
In the end, be glad you’re you and not them. 
(c) Copyright BCSPublishing 2012 all rights reserved

Word of the Day: “Overshare” in class and at work

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What is it called when a person discloses something too intimate for the setting or social company? Teaching clinical psychology to college students is to truly experience the term: overshare.  ”Overshare” describes the phenomenon that prompts the listener to think “TMI.”  I’ve started covering social norms about the proper level of personal disclosure for the classroom, in the first class of the semester.

Overshares in class

Here’s a true example: Andrew with raised hand at the beginning of class.

Me: “Yes Andrew.”

With Tom sitting next to him in class - Andrew: “Suzi, I wanted to let you know about Tom and me. We had a fight but we have decided that rather than being friends-with-benefits, we made up and we are going to be in a committed relationship.”

Tom is now looking a little green and the rest of the class is either uncomfortable or rolling their eyes.

Me: “Andrew, do you remember we talked about students’ relationship intimacy matters as being inappropriate for class disclosure?”

Andrew: “Yes . . . overshare?”

Me: “I think so. Let’s move on.”  Inside my head I am thinking, for the love of God!

Overshares at work

I find that some employees so needy for attention that they provide to coworkers excruciating detail about their physical illnesses, mental illness or intimate relationship issues. While some coworkers enjoy this kind of information  most would rather not have these pictures in their heads.

Workplace oversharing creates a dilemma for HR professionals.  Employers are prevented from disclosing any information about an employee’s illness or medical condition no matter what the employee has disclosed. HR professionals shouldn’t  discuss or comment. The idea is that with information about protected-class status  as general knowledge at work, it is difficult for an employer to prove that it’s actions did not consider this status. Once the information is readily available in the workplace milieu, it is really impossible to rein it back in.

Lack of general privacy

Facebook and other instant social media channels have encouraged oversharing and a disregard for privacy, generally.  I would like to see the pendulum swing back so that people in non-intimate settings might keep this kind of information a little more private.

Four Potential Causes of Employee Poor Performance

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Introduction

There are many reasons why employees can’t or won’t perform up to supervisory expectations or even up to their own potential. Often there are clues that suggest the ultimate source of poor performance but anecdotal evidence of today’s performance shortfall not sufficient to diagnose the underlying issue. A comprehensive look at the environment in which the employee works is in order.

Because the objective of initial performance counselings must be improvement, it’s important to assess the person, the supervisor and context in which the work takes place. If it is determined that real improvements are possible, this will help in crafting the performance improvement plan.

In those cases when termination is the end result of attempted performance improvement, knowing the causes can help you can tailor the discussions to create the smoothest, most professional and compassionate separation process. It will also support an affirmative defense if needed.

If the person is in the wrong position, demanding higher performance can unnecessarily frustrate and stress the employee. It would also be useless if there is something amiss with the supervisor or work atmosphere. It is best to conduct a comprehensive look at the overall picture. This article explores the four different dimensions that might combine to cause an employee’s poor performance.

FOUR DIMENSIONS OF EMPLOYEE POOR PERFORMANCE

1. It’s the employee
2. It’s the supervisor/poor employee preparation
3. It’s the job
4. It’s the workplace atmosphere
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

1. It’s the employee

There are several potential issues with an origin in the person themselves. Some may be technical and some may be relational (can’t get along with others). Of course if the person lacks technical skills there could also be issues with recruitment. In this case attention can turn to whether there is time and capacity for the person to learn the required skills. Depending upon the company investment to this point and the employee’s capacity to learn the new skills, additional training may work. Below is a listing of potential internal issues which would contribute to poor performance. The employee may:

  • Lack requisite technical skills (recruitment process?)
  • Lack requisite people relations skills (recruitment process?)
  • Lack work ethic (references checked?)
  • May be an acceptable performer but is unhappy and wants a different position (self-sabotage)
  • Have an undisclosed learning disability or medical condition affecting performance
  • Have problems with authority: rejects idea that someone will judge their work
  • Have mental health challenges: depression, personality disorder, PTSD, etc.

2. It’s the supervisor or poor employee preparation

Sometimes the person has the capacity to perform at a higher level but has not been given the initial tools and direction to create an opportunity for success. The result can be unspoken or disparate assumptions about what is considered good performance by the supervisor. Perhaps the supervisor has failed to meet regularly with the employee. Employees need the opportunity to ask questions privately and to admit they might need more information. Perhaps the supervisor is a poor communicator. Below is a listing of potential issues which may originate with how the employee is readied for the position or managed once in the job:

  • Employee does not understand the relative priorities of various tasks
  • Employee does not know company policies or procedures
  • Employee does not understand what supervisor likes, wants or dislikes

3. It’s the job

Sometimes the person is capable and knows what to do but the volume is just too high for one person to handle. Another issue is whether the employee has the information and tools to complete their work in an optimum fashion. Sometimes poor job design can be the culprit. There are natural groupings of tasks or assignments that allow a person with certain strengths to be successful. When unrelated or markedly different tasks are thrown together, it may be difficult to find the unique individual who is good at all of them. An example would be a position that requires high-level people relational skills AND high-level scientific skills. You can see the point. Below is a listing of potential job design issues that might contribute to poor performance.

  • Job volume is based on extremely high performer and person is new
  • Job contains too many unrelated accountabilities
  • Quality standards are impossible to meet
  • Long vacancies mean heavy workloads for those filling in (recruitment and job design)
  • The job qualifications used in recruitment don’t actually match what is required for the position

4. It’s the workplace atmosphere

Most of us have experienced a toxic workplace environment in which good employees are so distracted by stress and drama that they cannot properly attend to job performance. Studies show that toxic coworkers, bosses and an otherwise negative work culture are associated with productivity decreases. It’s not enough to have the right people and the right goals; someone has to ensure that the workplace is conducive to employees reaching their potential. Here are potential environmental issues that might be a source of sub-par performance.

  • The workplace atmosphere is overly negative: toxic employees and power struggles
  • A powerful informal leader calling the shots
  • Good people aren’t consistently praised/rewarded and so become disinterested
  • Negative conduct is not redirected so that coworkers are stressed by coworker abusive behavior

Summary

Performance issues can be a result of one of the four dimensions noted here but it can also be a result of a complex combination of more than one dimension. When there are several poor performers or a trusted and valued performer’s success begins to slide, it may be helpful to look at the supervisory team or the department as a whole. Often, companies are well-served to bring in an external consultant to bring an objective, seasoned diagnosis of all the barriers to departmental success. In any event, if you pay attention to potential causes the chance of a successful performance intervention is greatly increased.

© Copyright BCSPublishing 2012 all rights reserved – sbenoit@benoitconsulting.com

How to Support Suicide Survivor Grieving

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Introduction

The loss of a loved-one or special friend to suicide is sudden and devastating. Some professionals refer to the healing journey in this situation as complicated grief. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) and other local organizations have increased public awareness of survivor suffering. The information in this article has been used to train New England clinicians and bereavement counselors.

Among other things, I am a survivor and a licensed mental health clinician. When I lost a brother in 1999  few services were available in my community. I eventually found services for my own grieving and later provided individual and group support to others as a volunteer. I offer this material as support to those who may not have services available in their community and to clinicians who wish to further their knowledge of this topic. It comes from my work with survivors and knowledge of trauma, abuse and recovery.

Contents of this article

  1. Stigma and shame
  2. Regrets
  3. Detective obsession
  4. Telling the story
  5. Regulating emotions/feelings
  6. Odd ways to sooth
  7. Filling the void
  8. Creating a grieving ritual
  9. Individualized grieving process
  10. Blaming and family conflict
  11. Parental grief
  12. Survivor grieving and the workplace

1. Stigma and shame

Though many of us understand mental illness and the dynamics of depression, suicide sigma is still very much a factor in grieving this type of loss. Social stigma comes from a variety of influences:

  • Both ancient and (some) modern religious views;
  • The concept that it is not a “natural death;”
  • The concept for that suicide is a crime and it’s location a crime scene;
  • The stigma already associated with mental illness;
  • The blame and judgment survivors perceive from others; and
  • The guilt survivors feel about what they “should” have done differently.

The stigma and shame associated with suicide can manifest in a number of painful ways. Family members, police, funeral home personnel and other community members make subtle or overt judgment of survivors that ignores the reality of depression. Some family members may deny that a suicide has taken place. Efforts to hide the fact that self-harm is involved are more common than we might think. A survivor’s religious beliefs can be comforting but can also play a negative role in the family and community response. It is common for survivors to keep the secret of a family suicide for decades. I know survivors who attend group to process a parent’s suicide 20 years before — describing various ways the family kept this information from them. Sometimes survivors find out by accident when an adult who was instrumental in keeping the secret passes away. Breaking the silence in a safe setting is a significant forward step. Whether this is in a group setting, individual therapy or with a safe friend, support can take the form of acknowledging the pressures a survivor feels to meet other’s needs for silence and providing the safe place for them to voice their feelings of anger, sorrow and shame.

2. Regrets – If only I had done this, seen this . . .

In addition to the normal emotions of grieving, survivors feel shock, guilt and responsibility. The nature of a suicide loss is that it can sometimes be prevented if only temporarily, by others. Loved-ones who die this way sometimes keep secrets about how badly they were feeling and some never fully understood the depression they suffered. Sometimes loved-ones sought and received treatment but did not get relief (treatment-resistant depression). Despite this, survivors can become obsessed with all the ways they might have prevented this act.

“What if I had taken them to the hospital? What if I had listened more carefully? What if their doctor had changed their medication? What if they had taken their meds as prescribed. I should have been a better parent, spouse or friend.”

Resolving this issue is one of the greatest challenges in the healing process. The truth many survivors eventually come to understand – is that there is generally no one key action or event that could have guaranteed a change of events. Logic and rationalization is not generally helpful here. Survivors move to this realization over time.

3. Detective obsession

Many survivors experience a transient “detective” obsession where they spend time gathering information; visiting the death scene; speaking those who had last contact with their loved-one; retracing the loved-one’s steps; and generally seeking every detail surrounding the suicide. The idea is that if they gather enough information it will all make sense. The typical scenario, however, is that there are always unanswered questions about the events of the days or weeks leading to the event. Finally, the question that can’t be answered except in a personal–spiritual way is: Why did this happen to me? Telling a survivor to stop focusing on these facts or questions is not helpful. Gaining comfort with unanswered questions is part of the gradual healing journey. As long as the obsession does not overtake obligations to family, work or self-care, it will shift over time.

4. Telling the story

A major healing component of the group process is that survivors have a chance to tell the “story” of what happened to their loved one and what they are going through. Because of their guilt and the social stigma survivors may have no other safe place to discuss this or fully debrief the event. Part of the story includes the events of the day they learned of the death but the story evolves. Survivors report that as the whole story is told over time, it becomes less about the facts and details of the death as it is about the story of their loved-one and their own healing journey. The clinical term for this process is desensitization. This “telling” can initially be gory with details that others have difficulty tolerating. It is not helpful to pry and ask a survivor to talk about this when they’re not ready or comfortable. It’s helpful to be prepared when survivors are ready with gentle/nonjudging encouragement. The first “hearing” for a group facilitator may be during a pre-screening interview before a survivor joins a support group. This provides an opportunity for the screener to hear the story and provide support and guidance about the telling the story in the group. For facilitators or therapists, listening without judgment is essential to build participant trust.

5. Regulating emotions/feelings

Because the healing process is long with significant “downs” and hopefully, an increasing number and duration of “ups,” it can be difficult to keep emotions in check as survivors go about their work or just their daily routine. Survivors describe the overwhelming feelings of deep sorrow or even anger that come upon them suddenly. It may be while watching a mother and son interacting at the store, coming across information about the marriage or other seemingly benign events. This phenomenon can be like a flash-back, a re-experiencing or it can just be a sudden experience of deep sorrow. Survivors express embarrassment when it happens long after the death perhaps in anticipation of some judgment by others that they should be finished with these tears by now. The fact is that these episodes continue for most survivors for months and years. It is important for survivors to understand that this is part of a healthy and “normal” grieving/healing process and that it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with them. Further, it is helpful for survivors to feel empowered to control some aspects of their surroundings to avoid constant reminders. This is more difficult early in the loss but gets easier over time. Friends and coworkers can provide support by listening to cues about whether the survivor “wants to talk” and when the survivor wants to “keep it together” and wait until a more private moment to let the tears flow. For survivors who don’t normally show their emotions to others, this phenomenon can be especially troubling.

6. “Odd” ways to sooth

Survivors sometimes develop means of comforting themselves that can seem odd to non-survivors. Examples: a mother whose son killed himself by firearm keeping the bullet on a chain around her neck; a brother might keep the weapon used in a suicide; or parents might keep blood-stained clothing. Sometimes families argue about whether to clean blood stains off the floor. Another question is whether to move from the house where the event occurred or to change the loved-one’s room. The idea of holding on to objects is a common general grief response but suicide is sudden and sometimes violent. Group facilitators and individual therapists must be prepared for these disclosures and to listen without judgment. Early on, survivors have difficulty separating their need to comfort themselves in these ways from how some people may react to the information. One survivor told me years later: “I can’t believe I showed that stupid bullet to everyone in the beginning. What was I thinking!” Providing affirmation of their right to choose the way to sooth themselves is helpful.

7. Filling the void

Filling the empty space, particularly for a parent survivor, can result a powerful need to remove the pain. Deep sorrow about the fact that loved-ones are gone with no more chances for amends or reconciliation is very difficult to move through. There are adaptive and maladaptive ways survivors might use: from healthy support and self-care to substance use and drugs. Encouragement for rest, taking a break from normal responsibilities and good general self-care is important. An underlying substance use issue complicates the grieving process might escalate. For a few families, trauma and increased drug or alcohol use can create a chaotic environment that makes professional support for the grieving process difficult or impossible until other issues are more resolved.

8. Creating a grieving ritual

Creating a “grieving ritual” is one way families can join together to remember the person who died. It’s helpful to show that a loved-one isn’t forgotten and provides a comforting routine. The date might be the loved-one’s birthday, the date of death or other significant date. These times can be difficult even several years after the death. Rituals range from simple to more complicated/religious. It could be spending the day with a trusted friend talking about the loved-one. It may also be a more formal religiously sanctioned celebration. Challenges for survivors arise in families with conflict where the practiced religion has difficulty with the concept of suicide or where the fact of suicide is a secret from some members. When families aren’t able to unite around one ritual celebration survivors can create something more private/personal. A sacred location such as a garden, the shore or even the place where the person died are often mentioned as places survivors feel close to their loved-one. Survivors should be supported to craft rituals that mean something to them. As time goes on, this can be a day that survivors feel comfortable letting their sad feelings flood in and then resume activities after a time.

9. Individualized grieving process

Each individual’s grieving is unique. There is no correct way or accepted timetable for the grieving process though there are some common stages survivors may move through. Close friends and relatives may wish to “move on” or find it painful to discuss the suicide. This can transmit subtle or not-so-subtle messages to the survivor that there is something wrong with them for continuing to process their feelings. Friends may suggest that the deceased’s room be changed, that the family move or that the deceased clothes be given away. Comments about dating (when a spouse has died) or having more children (when a child has died) probably reflect the speaker’s need to conceive of hope for the future. It is, however, insensitive to the long process of adjustment needed by most survivors. The fact that others are moving on or see ways that the survivor might move on can increase the survivor’s feelings of isolation. Survivor support will include much, repeated reassurance that this is not their problem nor is it their role to make those around them comfortable. Another common scenario is for some family members to seek helpful support outside the family and for others to withdraw or refuse to discuss it. The ideal is for everyone to become more comfortable with the fact that differences exist and not to hitch one’s healing to someone else’s internal process or needs.

10. Blaming and family conflict

Family conflict is common among survivors. Family members can blame spouses or significant-others when unhealthy relationships or a difficult break-up immediately precedes a partner’s suicide. I have seen overt blame for signs that “should have been seen.” I have also heard of entire towns split with police and the deceased blood relatives on one side and those related to the deceased by marriage on the other. In extreme cases, survivors actually move to get away from this dynamic. Group participants typically come to learn that blame and shame are an expression of someone else’s grief. Survivors can be supported to understand that they are not responsible for a loved-one’s death or a family member’s angry reaction. But this part of the journey is very painful. It is important for a loved-one in family conflict to have a safe place to talk about the isolation and sorrow that comes with it. Here, the loss may not be just the loved-one, but also friends, neighbors and others. Professional, individual counseling may be the only safe place a survivor can process their thoughts and feelings without judgment.

11. Parental grief

While any loss by suicide is very difficult, parents feel a special care=taking responsibility for a child who dies by suicide. The guilt and shock when a child or young adult is lost can be especially debilitating. Often survivor parents are unable to share their true feelings of shame except with other survivor parents. Particularly when a child is young, outsiders naturally wonder how parents missed the signs – parents are supposed to keep their children “safe.” In reality, no parent is with their child every minute of every day. Suicide by a child is so unimaginable. I heard Frank Campbell, PhD, Baton Rouge Crisis Intervention Center indicate that family members are exactly the wrong people to see early warning signs. According to Dr. Campbell, their love and hopes for the best for their children prevents parents from forming thoughts that their child could actually be unsafe in this manner. In addition, children like adults are not always honest about their feelings. They sometimes tell bits about how they are feeling to more than one person leaving no one individual with the whole picture. It is essential that facilitators and therapists provide a nonjudgmental atmosphere for grieving parents. Aside from participating in a group, survivor parents benefit greatly from contact with a fellow parental survivors.

12. Survivor grieving and the workplace

We spend so much time at work every day that it is important to understand how the deep grieving of a survivor affects the workplace and how the workplace affects the survivor.  First, many times coworkers are involved in the actual events of the suicide itself.  They may have provided support to the survivor if the suicide is discovered during the work day. For survivors whose close friends are in the workplace, coworkers may play a central role in survivor support outside the workplace. Second, the workplace has policies related to bereavement and then the use of sick time since bereavement days are insufficient for most survivors to return to work.  Typical bereavement provisions are less than a week. Even adding available sick time may be insufficient.  To a person, every survivor I’ve talked with either needed more than two weeks to resume work or they resumed work too soon and required more time later when their “batteries” ran dry.  Many survivors end up having to file for a short-term disability leave.  Third, the length of time needed by the survivor can exceed coworkers’ tolerance for the absence and filling-in needed to cover a survivor’s work. Coworkers will also just be ready to move on from the topic before the survivor. Finally, survivors describe a desire to change jobs so that they can have more privacy regarding their survivor status.  When everyone at work knows about the loss the survivor can begin to feel like the “suicide person” there.  When he or she changes jobs, revealing the death is more of an over choice, empowering the survivor with more control over how much of the topic is “out” in the workplace. For this and all the reasons noted above, survivors often end up making an employment change.

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 Sources

1. Created by the Baton Rouge Crisis Intervention Center, The History of Suicide, accessed June 2010 on the website of the Jacob Crouch Foundation

2. Sudak, Howard, MD, Maxim, Karen, MS, RN, and Carpenter, Maryellen, Suicide and Stigma: A Review of the Literature and Personal Reflections, Journal of Academic Psychiatry, American Psychiatric Publishing, Inc.: February 16, 2007

3. Office of the Surgeon General, Mental Health, a Report of the Surgeon General, Chapter One: Introduction and Themes